Last Monday I was asked to step into the manager’s office at Pugmire Ford. It was my first week and I had sold three cars. It seemed like things were going pretty well. But by the look on the his face I knew something was up. He said, we have to let you go man, corporate policy. You didn’t pass the background check. They found some things on your driving record from way back that they can’t get over.
It is Ford’s policy.
I sat in stunned silence as my friend finished. I knew he had put in a good word for me. I know he did his best to get around it. There were no hard feelings as I gathered my stuff and exited the building. Basically I was just in shock.
A deep sense of sadness began to wash over me. Regret and shame began their invasion on the peace my soul. They asked for a seven year driving report. I was happy to supply it considering it was one page with basically my name on it. Insurance on the car I own is $70 a month for full coverage. Why would I think it would be a problem on theirs?? Why would I go back over 10 years to dredge up things I thought no longer applied?
But, here I am. The wave of yesteryear has washed over me. The law of the harvest has came into effect. I have reaped what I have sown and it is painful. The feeling of letting down every one around me is overwhelming. That I have to write or talk about this is even more so. For two weeks I have been getting calls and texts about coming to see me and buying a car.
But really this post is not about all that.
It is about another law. A greater law found in moments like these. Where life pushes you into the boundaries of the flesh and the spirit and they begin to collide. Something greater that supersedes the law of the harvest.
The law of grace and mercy.
It is the law in my heart that says, I know the man that you were yesterday, I know the man you are today, and I know the man you will be tomorrow. I knew every mistake you would ever make… and I still died for you. I love you.
Not that you could go on sinning.
Not that these moments in your life wouldn’t exist.
They have to because you have earned them.
The law of the harvest is real. You do reap what you sow according to how God sees fit. A past is a heavy burden to carry at times, but not impossible. I will never be totally free of it till I step onto the other side.
But it is certainly nothing when compared to the weight of the sin that Jesus carried on my behalf. On behalf of us all.
It’s funny I don’t feel like the person that they read about in their reports. I know I have weaknesses and faults and God only knows how many times I have failed Him in the past eight years.
But He is pushing me to become something more through Him. And I believe the key to becoming the man He needs me to be is found in moments like these.
Moments where the flesh and the spirit clash. Moments where it seems hopeless and you feel lost. Moments where the flesh yearns for ways to console itself above all else.
But today I choose the spirit. I choose to walk in the truth and light instead of the lie that the devil whispers in my ear.
Yes I know who I used to be.
But now I know who I am.
I have to rest in that and let God take care of it from here.
2 Corinthians 12:9
9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.