It was September when he first found out. My dad was healthy as an ox it seemed. He had just turned 50 years old and had never smoked or drank very much. He was even playing on a senior league softball team at the time. He had developed a cough that would not go away, so he went to the doctor.
Sorry pal, you have 3 months to live. It was devastating news to us all. He tried everything they told him to do but nothing worked. And It was not that he was afraid of dying. He just worried about all of us so much. He was the head of our house and had always provided us with everything…
He fought like a lion.
I remember at the time I was going to Atlanta to the auctions a few times a week. I would be going down I-75 crying out to God… I would beg and plead. Please God, no. All I could think about was No, No, No. But they were empty cries to a God I did not know.
For eight months straight I begged Him to heal my father. Around April I quit praying that he be healed and just asked that he would allow my father to give in. He fought so hard. I mean the things you see when you deal with Cancer only a war veteran would understand. It is some serious business.
Through it all Dad never lost his faith. We went to church every Sunday, and on some Sunday nights we would choose a different little one he could go to. At the end of their service he would raise his hand and ask to speak. To testify. Not once was he ever refused and many times when we left there wasn’t a dry eye in the house. Not tears of pity… tears of joy at what great faith he showed. No matter what life put him through, GOD was there for him.
After he died I just could not hold it together. Inside there was this hole that was created. I could never fill that void that cancer had taken from me. My dad and I had pretty much been at odds our whole life, and I had just came back and started working for him right before we found out he was sick. It was like a cruel joke life had played on us.
For a long time I just couldn’t understand how God could let something happen to such a great guy. I blamed Him, and I took my frustration out on myself and all those around me. I was selfish. All I could ever think about was how this had impacted my life. I had never even stopped to consider all the lives my dad had touched with his great faith.
I realize now that a lot of life’s questions have no answers. At least while we are here. And God never promised us a life without tribulation. But our instructions are pretty clear.. Have faith, Read the word, and Love others as we have loved ourselves.
I know since I cried out to Jesus and looked for answers God’s way, that great big hole inside has begun to be filled in. Only Jesus can do things like that. Sometimes I think we all just need to quit trying to “figure it out” and get busy being the light of the world.
R. C. Hudson I am so proud to call you my dad. You are gone but will never be forgotten. Your work is done in this world. Go rest high on that mountain. We are gonna be ok down here……